March 30, 1992 Orem, Utah
Dearest John; Roy, Patrice, Emily & Timothy; Bob, Claire, Michael, Laura, Brett & Katie; Rick, Jean, Ricky, Barbara Jean, Mary Ann & Sarah; and Ron, Ann, Susanna, Jessie, Russell, LeeAnna & Jimmy:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW KATIE!!! It's hard to believe you are four years old but we're surely proud of you!!!
Ann is sitting with Daddy while I write my letter today. I don't want to leave him unless I am where I can hear him if he calls to me - I use the monitor in our bedroom so I can take a bath and get dressed but I can't use it and the computer at the same time because I couldn't hear him.
Daddy is about the same - I don't think he even knows who I am most of the time. He does know me at night though - I sleep on the couch right beside him and he talks most of the night. Last night he awakened once and said, "Barbara, we need to get out of here quick - are you prepared to do your part?" Then later I went to get my hair cut and when I told him goodbye he said, "Please don't go back in the hills with them". I said, "Do you mean the Indians" and he said, "Yes". Ann & I have decided that all the Louis La Mour books he has read are in his mind. He is really cute and is NOT in pain. He was supposed to get a new pain patch this morning but I haven't put one on yet.
LATER - the nurse from Hospice came and it took her three hours to tell me all she had to and for me to sign the papers. She is a really sweet person but it's always been hard for me to have people show me things and then read them to me as if I couldn't read. She says we won't have very long with Daddy - even though we all know that it is somehow harder when we hear it from another person. He is not one bit good and we all know that!!!
She did show us how to turn him though and that will help. She says all his vital signs are good and she practically insisted that we put the pain patch on so we let her do it. I don't want anyone else to bathe him so she will just come three times a week.
Malcolm & Marian Jeppsen came by to see us one evening last week. Malcolm went to the pharmacy and got me some sleeping pills and he strongly suggested that I get some rest. Ann came one night and John took over one night so I have had two wonderful nights sleep and that has really helped me.
Carolyn Crawford Perkes called this morning to tell us that Uncle Winston is in the hospital with an aneurism. I surely hope he gets well - they said it didn't look good.
We love each one of you so very much. I don't know what to expect but I'll keep you posted.